you're closer than you think you are.

how to recognize when you’re already in alignment with what you’ve been working toward.

via pinterest

there’s an unshakeable stagnancy in the air, sometimes so thick that it’s suffocating.

maybe it’s the ominous, looming recession, the shitty job market, the recycled, boring content and “hot takes” (that are actually just excerpts of books that’ve already said it better). or the podcast pop psychologists preaching oversimplified toxic positivity and hyper-individualism.

whatever it feels like for you, i know you feel it, i feel it and we’re not crazy. right?

it can be so incredibly challenging to carve out new neural pathways leading to that 180º moment that so many of us crave deep down: that life-changing, trajectory-altering, mind-bending contrast to what otherwise feels like a reality that’s just become too damn predictable, too safe, too risk-avoidant, too monotonous. it’s like the line drawn between our ‘innies’ and ‘outties’ appears more and more faint, as if our affinity to wearing business casual on a night out wasn’t enough proof that for many of us, our lives feel too mundane to even tell the days apart.

doechii in 2020 via youtube

it’s easy to assume that just because we don’t see the growth or evolution of the habits, decisions, and environments we choose- that it’s ineffective or that we’re not in alignment with where we want to be. or that we constantly need to be rebranding ourselves to be “that girl” in order to connect with our higher self instead of just staying the course. as if change happens overnight, or that there should always be some glaring, neon-lit sign that reads: LOOK I’M A NEW PERSON NOW, THE OLD ME IS GONE.

it’s much more subtle than that. much more soft, subconscious, and slow.

there’s a reason why so many folks ignore the Gregorian calendar altogether, and consider spring/aries season the real new year, instead of the dead of winter. it’s at this time when i finally set my intentions for the rest of my year, and it’s the ideal moment to really start shedding some of those protective layers we’ve accumulated over winter’s course: the isolation, lack of energy, the resistance to change, and the quiet heaviness that comes with colder, darker days. as the world around us begins to bloom again, so do our spirits, making it the perfect time to step into renewal with clarity and purpose.

you are closer than you think you are. just when you’re at the point of giving up and throwing in that proverbial towel: realize that you’ve made such tremendous progress this whole time, you just didn’t know that every small step, every quiet effort, and every moment of doubt was actually building momentum. the breakthrough isn’t some far-off destination—it’s already unfolding, little by little in between fleeting moments of seemingly nothingness. you’re not starting over (and you don’t have to); you’re stepping into everything you’ve been preparing for.

when i think of the late bloomers i admire, 4 people come to mind: Doechii, Reshma Saujani, Kendrick Lamar, and Martha Stewart. stay with me.

case study #1: Doechii, The Lotus.

doechii via cosmos

Doechii is the moment, and rightfully so. as a Tampa born and bred artist, she candidly documented her journey as an aspiring full time creative on her youtube channel- often baring her heart and soul to her online community, sharing her honest inner world filled with self doubt, confusion mixed with a relentless desire to succeed. Doechii never shied away from showing the raw, unpolished parts of her journey—navigating rejection, financial struggles, and the uncertainty that comes with chasing a dream. yet, through it all, she remained committed to her craft, refining her sound and visual identity with each release. she is the definition of a lotus flower: growing from the mud and rebirthing as The Swamp Princess. now, as the world falls in love with her one by one, enamored by her undeniable presence and talent, it’s clear that every moment of doubt was simply a prelude to her becoming.